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IT'S OFFICIAL. Our hearts can finally stop beating 'Kedike', with daily 'amebo' gist updates telling us Sanchez is doing medical here, Sanchez is inside 'keke' going to Carrington, Sanchez demands statue in 'Imo State' before signing for United, etc...ALEXIS SANCHEZ IS FINALLY A MANCHESTER UNITED PLAYER.

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The Chilean forward has been signed from Arsenal in a straight swap deal involving no fee, which sees Armenian midfielder Henrikh 'Nwokeoma' Mhkitaryan move in the opposite direction to our 'ogbonge' customers, Arsenal FC.

Alexis Sanchez will now become the first Chilean to play for United's first team.

Getting Sanchez in this deal should be the football's biggest bargain ever considering the price of players nowadays - Gylfi Sigurdsson, Phillipe Coutinho, Virgil Van Dijk.

In fact, we send our deepest gratitude to Arsene 'Mugabe' Wenger for this 'awoof' deal...'Haba'!! This is too much. Alexis Sanchez just like that? This feels just like Black Friday.

Our deepest appreciation goes to our ex Armenian playmaker, Henrikh 'Nwokeoma' Mhkitaryan for his exploits in the United team throughout his tenure here, particularly his performances in United's run to the Europa League trophy last season.

Before we forget, this post cannot end without Kudos to 'Oga Eddy' Woodward for making this dream come true. We say 'Weh done sir!'.

Welcome Alexis Sanchez. Your Naija name is loading!

Please welcome him in your own style.


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