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UNITED 3-0 STOKE: 5 Things We Learnt As Stoke City Got 3 Strokes

Manchester United welcomed Stoke City to Old Trafford this evening. The Potters expected to be given some 'goody-goody' from United's Dubai trip but instead got some good strokes of 'Koboko'.


Here are Five things ManUtdNaijaFM learnt from the thrashing:

1. POGBA THE CHOIR CONDUCTOR
United's 'effizy' and 'swagger-bulous' midfielder Paul 'Ikenna' Pogba ran the show today. Like a choir conductor, he dictated the pace of play from his Deep-lying playmaker role.


'Wicked' passes were being sprayed all over the pitch like insecticide, with the Stoke City team struggling like insects...... His 2 assists were well deserved. A second consecutive Premier League game with 2 assists now for the French man.

2. ANTONIO ' Dede-TWO-Way' VALENCIA
 The captain of the night Antonio 'Dede-One-Way' Valencia returned to the squad and scored a 'Bulala' goal. Most intriguing about the goal was that  he disobeyed this One-way traffic style by scoring with his left foot!!!!


The 'always tucked-in' wing back doesn't score often. But whenever he does(like today), it is always a 'Gbowaza'.....Kudos to our captain who led the way today.

3. SELFLESS ROMELU 'TIMAYA' LUKAKU
The 'Striker-in-chief' of United's attacking forces had a great game. He enjoyed a game filled with impressive footwork, as his drift-ins from the right and hold up play caused the Stoke City defence problems, and created space for the others.


His efforts were rewarded with a well taken beautiful goal which helped to 'Super glue' the 3 points.

4. NOT MATA'S DAY
 Juan 'Bankole' Mata had a day full of finger biting because of all the 'nearly almost a goal' chances he had. It was clearly not his day.

His play was good as in recent weeks, but the ball simply refused to enter the net. Even when it did, it was an offside....A day to forget for the diminutive Spaniard.

5. MARTIAL LOVES STOKE CITY
It is now clear that our own Anthony 'Ikechukwu' Martial is in love with Stoke City. He has now scored 3 goals in 3 consecutive meetings between Stoke and United at Old Trafford.


Most interesting is the fact that the 3 goals have been very identical. In Naija style, we would say "The goals get the same papa the same mama".

IN THE END, this clean sheet cannot be celebrated without kudos to the Chris 'Okonta' Smalling-led defence who put in a good show....Stoke City's coach needed 'Rechargeable lamp' to find Peter Crouch before substituting him.

UP NEXT, Burnley; Same time, Same station on Saturday.

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OPINION POLL:
Who was your Man of the match?

GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED.

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